


Hook in the Water

by Senatsu



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Developing Relationship, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-20
Updated: 2016-03-31
Packaged: 2018-03-31 11:31:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3976495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Senatsu/pseuds/Senatsu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yosuke finally faces some things that he's been grappling with for a long time - one of which is his consistently poor treatment of Kanji (for reasons that have nothing to do with Kanji). The other of which is his more-complicated-than-he'd-like-to-admit feelings toward Yu. And all of this just in time for Yu's birthday. </p><p>This is gonna go well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Step is Admitting You Have a Problem

Yosuke’s really not sure how he ended up on fishing duty.

It’s just, it’s Yu’s birthday tomorrow, and he’s coming back to Inaba (he’s celebrating a day early with his parents, he told the crew), and they all know he has an almost cat-like affinity for fish, and the _other_ half of the team is taking care of decorating the Dojima household. Which they were originally all gonna do together. Until Yosuke and Kanji had one too many arguments about how cutesy Kanji’s decorative choices are and Kanji knocked over one too many decorations because he’d accidentally gotten too close to Naoto for the umpteenth time and Rise says “Out, out, _out!”_ and the next thing Yosuke knows, he, Kanji, and Naoto are fishing on the riverbank for Yu’s birthday meal.

Well, Kanji and Naoto are fishing, anyway. Yosuke’s got his hook in the water, but he’s hardly paying attention. He honestly does not have the patience or the attention span to sit and watch the bobber, waiting for a dip which might or might not be a fish taking the bait. He turns his music on, though he leaves his headphones around his neck; he figures it’s probably rude to pop them onto his ears while Kanji and Naoto are right next to him. Even if the two of them are about as talkative as a couple of rocks. (Privately, Yosuke thinks rocks would have a better chance at conversation.) The problem is, Naoto doesn’t say much, and though Kanji normally would, Naoto seems to be an auto-lock trigger for his jaw.

Yosuke’s fingers fiddle with the fishing line, with the grip, with the spinner. Honestly, it’s not helping his poor focus any that Yu’s gonna be here _tomorrow_ , and if that doesn’t make Yosuke impatient, he doesn’t know what would. His partner’s been doing his best to visit every few weeks, sure – and honestly that’s more than any of them had hoped for, when he first moved back home. Yosuke suspects that might have some relation to why Yu insisted on working so hard at his part-time jobs while he was living in Inaba… he’d thought further ahead than any of them, to when he’d eventually be gone again, and saved up accordingly. Of course, now that Yosuke’s had plenty of time _after_ the fact to think about it, he’s decided he knows exactly what Yu’s birthday gift will be. It turns out there are things more valuable to spend his Junes paycheck on than cool sneakers and CDs. Things like Yu’s train tickets. After all, they’re partners, aren’t they?

“…-senpai? Yosuke-senpai!”

Kanji’s abruptly insistent voice startles him, and he jerks his head up. “Huh?”

“Your line, you moron! Ain’t you watchin’?!”

Two seconds later, Kanji’s much larger hand covers Yosuke’s on the fishing pole as he attempts to get a firm grip on it, and Yosuke belatedly realizes that his bobber has – finally – gone under. He also realizes that Kanji is _way too freakin’ close_ and jerks away accordingly. Kanji’s grip hasn’t yet solidified, unfortunately, and Yosuke’s hand slips out from under his, allowing him to topple forward into the water with an incredibly graceful squawking noise.

Seconds later, he finds himself hauled right back out by the shirt collar, sputtering and coughing all the way. “Th… thanks…” he wheezes, only to be dumped onto his backside on the riverbank. When he finally manages to wipe all of the water from his eyes, he finds Kanji staring at Yosuke’s fallen fishing pole with an odd look on his face. Naoto, on the other hand, has fixed Yosuke with a stare that is something akin to “icily murderous”.

“Yosuke-senpai,” Kanji says finally, his voice unusually muted. “If it bothers you that much, sittin’ next to me, just… go home already.” He continues to stare at the fishing pole. “I get it, okay?” A fist clenches, unclenches, clenches again. “Keep hopin’ that one of these days you’ll get over it, finally stop treatin’ me like a freakin’ leper, but that ain’t gonna happen, is it?” His shoulders sink wearily, as though he’s surrendering in some invisible battle, and he turns away. “Just cause I look like a Yank doesn’t mean it don’t hurt, y’know.”

All of a sudden Yosuke feels as though there’s a stone in the pit of his stomach. He swallows, opens his mouth, shuts it again. Kanji’s supposed to get angry, supposed to yell at him, supposed to start ranting about proving his manliness again. He’s not supposed to sound… vulnerable, sad.

He’s not supposed to sound _hurt._

“Just go home already,” Kanji repeats, and this time his voice is rough, raw.

Yosuke takes a couple of steps back, the stone in his stomach turning to hot poison, making him sick with guilt. He didn’t… he never meant… he just—

In the blink of an eye, Naoto is standing in front of him, her eyes narrow with fury. She doesn’t hesitate before curling her fist into the neck of his shirt, hauling him stumbling after her up the riverbank and far enough down the sidewalk that they are out of Kanji’s earshot before yanking him down to her eye level.

“I consider myself a patient individual,” she says, her voice dangerously low. “I have to be. Case work requires it. But you have pushed my not-inconsiderable patience to its limits. Kanji-kun may be rough around the edges at times, but he’s repeatedly and consistently shown kindness to all of us – and yet you continue to respond to him like a child. Grow up, Senpai. Grow up, or stay away from him. Better that you don’t show up at all than keep hurting him like you’ve been doing.” She finally releases his shirt with a look of disgust. “I’d have thought for certain that after all the strange and bizarre experiences we have been through as a group – after everything we have seen of each other’s darker natures – that none of us would manage to come out the other side as narrow-minded as we began. How can you still choose to be so blind to the complexity of the world around you?”

The searing shame that twists in Yosuke’s stomach like a knife’s blade is only barely interrupted by the thought that he’s never heard Naoto say so much all at once, let alone so vehemently.

“You act as though it is all black and white, when we of all people should know better by now.” She gazes up at him challengingly, and Yosuke swallows again, hard. “Setting aside the fact that Kanji-kun has stated very clearly – many times – that his Shadow never had anything to do with a genuine sexual preference for men but rather a fear of women due to their constant misjudgment and mistreatment of him, do you truly believe that it is _inherently wrong_ for a man to find happiness in another man? That those men are somehow _defective_?” Her lips form a thin line.

“Do you truly believe that just because one falls in love with women, one can’t _also_ fall in love with men?”

It is this last remark that strikes him the hardest, and he lets out a breath as though she’s dealt a physical blow to his chest.

She’s right. He _knows_ she’s right. Thing is, if he admits as much, there are other things that he will also have to own up to – at least in his own mind – and he’s not sure he can handle that. But he owes it to Kanji. Owes it to all of them. He can’t run away from this again.

He hangs his head low, shoves his hands in his pockets miserably. “I’m sorry,” he says, his voice weak, ashamed. “I just can’t – I don’t know how…” he fumbles pathetically, then yanks at his bangs with a growl of frustration. “I… I’ve been. I’ve been an ass,” he continues; his vision slowly goes out of focus like a camera lens turned the wrong way. “I just. I’m scared.” He inhales shakily, exhales. “That’s… it’s not an excuse. It’s not. I’m just… scared to _let_ things be as… as complicated as they really are.” Naoto remains silent. Yosuke looks at her, then over her shoulder, towards Kanji. He hesitates. His hands are shaking with a sudden adrenaline rush he hadn’t realized had jumped him. “I… can I, um. Can I go apologize? To him, I mean. And…” he digs the toe of his sneaker into the grass that edges the sidewalk, for once not caring that he’s marring the pure white of the rim. “…And can I… talk with you guys?”

He finally risks looking back at Naoto, and finds her gazing straight into his eyes. He stiffens, but does not look away. She’s searching for something – what, he’s not sure. Evidently, though, she finds what she’s looking for. She nods her assent and finally uncrosses her arms, turning to stride gracefully back in the direction they came from. Yosuke follows her after a moment, his shoulders hunched awkwardly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is definitely at least one more chapter to this, and it is already in-progress. In the meantime, this felt like an appropriate place to end the first. 
> 
> Also, the title is really stupid and I literally had no idea what else to call this, so. Ugh. It's literally just a reference to Yosuke's fishing pole. I just. I wish I could call it symbolic or metaphorical or something but. It's. Really not.


	2. The Second Step is???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A great big thanks to obstinateRixatrix for doing a beta read of this chapter for me!

Kanji looks up at the sound of their footsteps. His eyes widen faintly as he catches sight of Yosuke, having clearly only expected Naoto's return. Then his brow lowers, and Yosuke sees his body tense defensively. The guilt in his stomach returns; he can’t believe he ever let himself accept the lie that all of the things he’s said and done didn’t actually bother Kanji – that just because he’s got muscles and a couple of scars, bleached his hair and talks like a tough guy, he’s somehow invulnerable to the normal weaknesses of human beings.

“Listen… Kanji…” Yosuke starts, then stops, feeling suddenly like words are inadequate, but knowing he needs to try anyway. “Dude, I… I’m sorry, okay?”

Kanji startles visibly, rocks back a bit. “Wha--?”

“I know that just saying it doesn’t make up for anything, but… I’m just… I’m really sorry for, y’know… for being a jerk to you.” Yosuke exhales, long and slow, then crouches down, folding his arms over his knees and staring at the river. "It wasn't cause of you that I was really doing it, I guess." He drops his forehead onto his arms. "It was cause of me."

Kanji looks from Naoto to Yosuke and back again, mute with surprise and confusion.

"I... I just..." his fingers curl into his sleeves as if the material will somehow serve as a lifeline; he takes another shaky breath. "I was being a coward. About a lot of stuff. Growing up, I... I found out the hard way what happens when you're different. Like you did, Kanji. Er, not the same way you did, just... I know what it feels like, too. So I stopped. Being different, I mean. Or at least, I tried to. Blend in, and stuff." He lifts his head again, eyes locking on to ripples in the surface of the river water. "I guess I thought... anything was better than being shut out by everyone.

"But then I met Yu... met all of you guys... and suddenly, it was okay for everyone to be themselves, and I just... that was amazing. Is amazing. I mean, well..." the boy sighs, burying a hand in his hair, his fingers tilting into his scalp. "I mean, I honestly never really, y'know,  _thought_ too much about guys liking other guys. I just. I knew that it was 'wrong' and 'different,' so I did anything I could to avoid it. I mean, I really  _do_ like girls, it's just, I also tried really hard to make sure everyone  _else_ knew I liked girls. Which... just ended up with me saying even more douchey stuff."

He worries at the corner of his shirt collar with his thumb and index finger, his stomach doing little flips that make him feel queasy. "It doesn't even... it doesn't even make sense when I say it out loud... that it's wrong for two dudes to be together as... as more than friends. I was just... too freaked at the idea of ever not fitting in again. Especially cause..." He sighs, lowers a hand to the ground, plucks at the blades of grass anxiously. "I think, um. I honestly think that if I'd been thrown in to the TV the same way the two of you were, especially if it was much later than when I originally faced my Shadow... I think the other me would, uh, have a lot more to say. And that thought freaks me out more than anything."

At this point, Kanji and Naoto have both settled back into the grass, listening quietly to Yosuke's awkward rambling. Something in this last set of remarks catches both their interest, however, and they exchange a glance before looking back to Yosuke.  
  
"'More to say,' Senpai?" Naoto inquires, her voice soft and undemanding. 

Yosuke reddens, immediately hiding his face in his arms again. "Um, yeah," he says, and laughs nervously. "Uh, it's. It's kind of related, I guess you could say."

Naoto's mouth forms a small 'o' of surprise; Kanji's jaw falls open.

"Y-Yosuke-senpai," the younger boy stammers, his cheeks heating, "You, uh, you don't mean, uhhh..." Then he draws his hand over his eyes, embarrassed. "I mean, uh, you know we don't care either way, I was only, uhh..."  

It becomes obvious that Yosuke's ears have gone red as well, and his voice is muffled from the cloth of his sleeves. "Dude, look, I don't know, okay?! It's just, I've had a lot of time to think, and I've been trying to  _avoid_  thinking about it but it's really distracting, and I just. I've..." he makes an incoherent noise of frustration, "I just don't know! I've only ever had one serious crush before this and she kind of, you know, died, so... I don't have a lot of frame of reference to go on, here!"

Kanji's eyes get even wider, if that's possible, and he coughs in surprise. "W-wait, so you mean, like, it's not just about this... stuff," he waves his hand vaguely, "...but like about, y'know, a _person_?"

This time, the sound that Yosuke makes in response is so pathetic that Kanji and Naoto share a look of pity. "Yeah," he manages, finally, barely choking out the one word. "Yeah, it kinda is. And I think, um. I think that's why I was even more of an asshole to you than I'd ever been to, well, anyone," he adds, guilt lacing his voice. "I'm sorry, I swear to God that's not an excuse. It doesn't make it right or anything. But yeah, I was... noticing some things, or at least wondering, and totally panicking, and I... went completely overboard."

At this stage of the conversation, Naoto's got a pretty good handle on things - as usual, of course - but Kanji hasn't quite gotten there yet. "So, uh... who is it?" Yosuke's shoulders jerk up towards his ears, and he seems to go rigid as a statue, curled in on himself, crouched in the grass. After a long, long silence, a muffled word drifts towards the other two. Kanji leans closer, grunting. "Senpai, I couldn't really--"

Naoto touches Kanji's arm, her fingers featherlight (and for once, Kanji doesn't bolt in the opposite direction), and she glances at him with amusement. "We both know it's not Teddie, yes?"

Kanji makes a face, but nods. "Yeah, Ted is... uhhhh... just, no."

Naoto smiles - practically laughing, in her particular book of expressions. "And it's not you, Kanji-kun..."

The boy rolls his eyes at this. "Well,  _duh._ Coulda told ya that." Naoto's eyes twinkle as she looks up at him, falling silent. Yosuke makes the mistake of looking up right at that moment, just in time to watch the look of understanding dawning like the morning sun across Kanji's face - complete with hues of red. He tries to say something, only managing to sputter nonsense instead, and leaving Yosuke to look on in mortified silence as the last of his secret is exposed. 

 _That's it, I'm done for_ , Yosuke thinks, looking morosely at the torn up grass near his feet.  _I will never be able to look Yu in the eyes again for the rest of my entire life. Let alone for his birthday. Oh God, his birthday is tomorrow. What the hell do I do now?!_

Kanji stands abruptly, his limbs and posture suddenly stiff and awkward. "Well, uh, I think we've caught enough fish, so, maybe, um, maybe we should head back and see how everyone else is doin'. Yeah." He hoists the cooler with the fish in one hand, pauses, then hesitantly offers his free hand down to Yosuke. Yosuke blinks, then blinks again, almost as if he's so far gone he has no idea what he's even looking at. Kanji almost retracts his hand, but Yosuke snaps out of his daze abruptly and offers a sheepish grin up at his kouhai, taking Kanji's hand firmly in his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At LEAST one more chapter after this - hopefully, IT "dialogue hell," as obstinateRixatrix affectionately dubbed it.


	3. Well This is Awkward

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, it's a good thing I said "at least" one more chapter, because what was originally gonna be chapter 3 is now gonna be chapter 4 instead, with this chapter 3 being one last interlude look into Yosuke's thoughts before we get the whole gang in action at once. \o/

Now that Yosuke’s thinking about it, actually thinking about it, he can’t seem to, well, stop.

Kanji and Naoto have gone on ahead; he requested a little time alone, and they nodded with matching looks of understanding before heading out for the Dojimas'.

Naoto’s words are kind of world-shattering for him. The closest thing he’s ever had to any concept of sexuality that falls anywhere between straight or homosexual is two hot girls making out purely for the sake of sexy fantasies and then, you know. Getting it on with a guy instead. And he’s. He’s pretty sure that doesn’t really. Count.

He doesn’t know what to think anymore, really. “I like GIRLS” has always been his excuse for why he can’t possibly be anything other than completely, one hundred percent straight as an arrow. If liking girls doesn’t mean you can’t also like guys, suddenly his excuses amount to a whole lot of nothing.

It also means his feelings towards Yu are exactly as complicated as he’s tried to make himself believe they aren’t.  
  
And of course… there’s the fact that he’s been a douchewad in general. To Kanji, and to the girls – all in the name of protecting some stupid image of “straightness.” After all, he reflects with a guilty swallow, he’s said a hell of a lot of things about the girls that you just… you don’t say about friends. Or anyone, _ever_ , but especially not about people you claim to care about. Which makes all of this an even harder pill to swallow. Having to admit how many times he’s been a raging asshole to the people closest to him is ten times worse than the constant paranoia of coming off as obnoxious and needy that he’s been plagued by most of his life.

Yosuke groans, drops his forehead against his knees, and hugs them closer to his chest. This sucks. He’s a moron. A royal freaking idiot. (Among other, less kindly things he could call himself.) And of course he has to have an epiphany of this scale the day before Yu’s birthday. Stupid fishing pole. How the hell is he gonna avoid being ridiculously awkward around the entire group – but particularly Yu himself – with things as they are now?

And how is he supposed to apologize…?

A quick group text – “srry for bein an asshole guys. Lol” Yeah freakin’ right.

Maybe he can get away with doing it individually, but like, over the phone? So no one has to see his face while he’s feeling dumb and guilty and filled with remorse? No, he knows better; that’d be completely tactless.

Abruptly, he realizes that he’s actually supposed to be heading back to the Dojima’s, like, now – he needs to help Kanji prepare the fish, and if he isn’t there to help, someone else is going to try, and that someone else is gonna be one of the girls, and HELL if he’s going to let one of them poison Yu’s birthday dinner – and before he has time to second-guess his decision, he hurriedly scrambles up the hill and hits the sidewalk running.


	4. Home Sweet Home

“Happy birthday!”

The gleeful chorus of voices greets Yu the moment he sets foot in the Dojima’s entryway, and he can instantly feel his heart expand to the bursting point.

He’s home.

 _“Home is where the heart is,”_ so the old proverb goes; as Yu surveys the room full of the people dearest to him, with his uncle and Nanako close behind him in the doorway, he thinks that there are few words in this world that ring truer than these. And indeed, the triumphant birthday shout is soon followed by a warm, mostly-unanimous “Welcome home!” and one familiar, high-pitched voice gleefully crying, "Sensei's here! Sensei's here!"

It’s impossible to respond with a lump the size of the moon lodged in his throat, and he has to swallow in order to say, “I’m home.” Even then, the words come out thick and slow, heavy with emotion. Yu smiles sheepishly at the others as he hears himself.

Yosuke grins, clapping him on the back heartily. “Aw, c’mon, Partner! You can’t get all sappy _yet_!”

“’Yet’?” Yu repeats, raising an eyebrow. He ignores the tiny heart-flutter in his chest as the warmth of Yosuke’s palm seeps into the skin between his shoulder blades (he’s had a lot of practice ignoring these things by now.) “You mean you want me to get sappy later?”

He glances around appreciatively - there's a birthday banner strung across the wall behind the TV, and various colorful streamers have been strung and spiraled from the ceiling in crisscross patterns. There's even an assortment of cheerful window-marker doodles on the sliding glass doors to the left of the TV. At a glance, Yu can identify at least three of the scribbles: a stick figure that appears to be performing martial arts, a ghost-like spirit that he assumes was  _supposed_ to look happy and instead looks murderously gleeful, and an absolutely adorable (and artfully done) sketch of a bunny rabbit. None of the artists seem to have signed their names, but Yu's almost positive he knows exactly whom each of the drawings belong to. 

“Not that I _want_  you to get sappy so much as I don’t think you’re gonna be able to help it,” Yosuke says. His affectionate grin has turned mischievous. Yu thinks, idly, that though he’s fond of Yosuke’s entire repertoire of smiles – shy, awkward, happy, amused, excited, the kind half-hidden with a bitten lip – the mischievous one is definitely one of his favorites.

It’s another thought that he gently sets aside, tucking it into a neat little folder in the bottom drawer of a filing cabinet, the one that gathers dust and cobwebs at the back corner of his mind.

“Should I be worried?” Yu says dryly, leaning lightly against Yosuke’s side, his eyebrow remaining raised behind his silver bangs.

“Nah, you’re gonna love it!” Yosuke says, nudging him.

“Yosuke-senpai, quit it!” comes an indignant huff from Rise, who stands a short distance away with her arms akimbo. “You can’t give him any hints!”

Yosuke drops his hand from Yu’s back finally, crossing his arms. “What?! How was that a hint?!”

Rise rolls her eyes. “I know _that_ wasn’t a hint! But you’re just bad at keeping secrets, okay? The less you talk about it, the better!”

Yosuke looks even more offended now. “Bad at kee– since when?!”

“Since forever,” Chie mutters from her place nearby, kneeling on one of the zabuton at the right-hand side of the living room table.

Yukiko giggles. "Be nice to Yosuke-kun, Chie," she chides gently, though she clearly doesn't mean a word of it - and Yosuke's grumpy expression indicates that he's well-aware of this.  

"At least  _you_ know what the secret  _is_ , Yosuke!" Teddie whines. "Nobody will even tell me!" He sniffles dramatically. "It's breaking my poor little bear heart!"

"That's 'cos you're even worse at secrets than Yosuke-senpai!" Kanji says, scowling.

"' _Even_ worse'?! Why am I the metric to measure by?!" 

“If you kids are gonna spend the entire night bickering…” comes a gruff voice from over Yu’s shoulder.

“It’s because they’re close!” Nanako pipes up cheerfully, squeezing her father’s hand.

Dojima smiles affectionately down at her, ruffling her hair. “Oh, is that how it works, now?”

Nanako throws up her hands to cover her head. “Daaad! Rise-chan made my hair pretty for the party!” And indeed, a lovely French braid crests the top of her head just behind her bangs, swooping elegantly to the side and back behind her left ear, where the rest of her hair is gathered into one central braid down her back. The end is tied with a sweet little pink satin ribbon. Yu makes a mental note to have Rise teach him how to do it, because as far as he's concerned, it's one of the cutest hairstyles Nanako has ever worn. (Then again, every way Nanako wears her hair is the cutest.)

Dojima laughs, a low, quiet rumble in his chest; it's a laugh the group has only recently gotten accustomed to hearing. He withdraws his hand and puts both up with his palms out. “Sorry, sorry!”

Yu feels his heart squeeze again. The sounds of their voices melt into a gentle thrumming in his rib cage, filling a blisteringly cold void he’s been all too painfully aware of in the months since he moved back out of Inaba. “Senpai, come ooon!” Rise is suddenly at Yu’s side, rousing him from his thoughts as she curls her hands around one of his and tugs him forward. “You can’t just stand in the entryway all night, you know!”

“I can’t?” Yu feigns distress, though the corners of his mouth twitch upward. “Don’t I get to do whatever I want? It _is_ my birthday…”  Distractingly, seconds after Rise gets Yu's fingers in her grip, the warmth of Yosuke's hand reappears, this time at Yu's elbow. Together the two of them guide him to his place of honor at the table. Rise settles in to his left; Yosuke plops down at his right. Yu thinks with some amusement that it feels as though he's a novel that's just been placed between a pair of bookends. It doesn't help that the two of them seem to be sitting a little closer to him than usual.

"Within reason, Senpai," Naoto remarks from a spot on the left side of the table, an amused smile on her lips. "But I think you'll find everyone's plans for the evening to your liking."

"Damn straight he will!" Kanji chimes in proudly. Yu notes with interest that Kanji has maintained his powers of speech despite the fact that his seat is immediately next to Naoto's. He'll have to ask Rise later about this potential indication of progress.

As chatter continues to fill the room, Nanako and Dojima take two of the last three zabuton, sitting at the end opposite Yu. The final cushion remains empty, for the moment - its would-be owner is too busy bouncing excitedly around the entire circle of people gathered to sit still. 

"Sensei, Sensei, guess what? I was curious about all the music Yosuke likes to listen to, so he's been showing me the good tunes! And I was thinking, I have a loo~oovely singing voice, after all! So I've written a  _beary_ special song just for you! Want to hear it?!" Teddie opens his mouth and takes a deep breath, only to let out a startled squawk as Kanji reaches up and manages to snag him by the belt, yanking him down to sit at the table. 

"Not now, Ted," the pseudo-delinquent says with exasperation. He musses the blond's hair with his large hand. "Save that for later!" Then he gets to his feet and claps his hands together once. "Arright, everyone's here! Let's get this show on the road!" He ambles into the kitchen, opening the refrigerator and withdrawing a couple of platters to bring to the table. Rise squeezes Yu's arm lightly and goes to join Kanji, soon returning with a tray of drinks balanced artfully on one hand, looking every bit the part of a cute waitress despite the lack of uniform. She winks at Yu, setting his drink down first.

In what feels like the blink of an eye, Rise and Kanji have the table decked out and looking like a feast fit for royalty. When they go to retrieve the finishing touches, Teddie makes as if to grab for some food, only to yelp when his hand is instantly smacked away by Chie. Her reflexes, however, are made slightly less impactful when a moment later her stomach emits a loud growl. Her ears turn red as the group's gazes turn towards her, and she grimaces down at her plate. "I can't help it," she whimpers; her hand rubs circles on her stomach ruefully. "The salmon smells sooo good..."

Yu is inclined to agree - it really does smell mouth-watering. Which... is utterly baffling. As far as he knows, most of the people in this group are human disasters in the kitchen, and though Nanako shows great promise, she's still a bit young to be left to her own devices for cooking. Kanji's voice suddenly drifts over to him again; he sounds faintly sheepish. "I know 's probably not as good as your cooking, Senpai, but I think it turned out all right..." The younger boy rubs the back of his neck self-consciously. Then he squares his shoulders. "But don't pretend you like it if it's bad, okay?! I can take it like a man!"

Yu laughs at this, pleasantly surprised. "I don't think you have anything to worry about, Kanji," he assures him with a smile. "I trust Chie's nose. I'm sure it will be delicious." Kanji blushes at this, mumbling something at the floor, but Yu can see a shy smile sneaking onto his face.

"Couldn'ta done it without Naoto, though," Kanji adds, once he's regained his composure. He even manages to say it with a completely straight face.

Yu blinks at Naoto, surprised a second time.

Naoto tugs at her bangs in embarrassment (her cap, which she normally pulls over her eyes in such moments, has been respectfully removed for dinner). "It was nothing," she insists. "I was mostly on guard duty."

"'Guard duty'?" Now Yu is _very_ confused.

It's Yosuke that interjects with a clarification. "To keep these three out of the kitchen," he says, exasperated, his head tipping toward Rise and his thumb jerking towards Chie and Yukiko. "They kept wanting to 'help.'" The finger quotes he puts around the world help are hilariously exaggerated.

Yu feels terror trickle icily down his spine; he turns his eyes to Naoto in a silent show of gratitude of the _"I'm indebted to you for life"_ variety. She ducks her head and coughs, a sound he's almost positive started as a laugh.

Chie and Rise are clearly offended by all this. Yukiko is mostly just puzzled.  

"Hey, why'd you say help sarcastically?!" Chie demands. "We would have been a lot more use at cooking dinner than you were at catching it, Mr. Came-Back-Soaking-Wet-Because-I-Fell-in-the-River!"

Yu turns to Yosuke immediately, raising an eyebrow. Yosuke sputters, looking betrayed, and as his cheeks start to turn pink, Yu muses to himself that "Blushing Bingo" might make for an excellent party game: four IT members down, three to go. Well, four, if he includes himself. Nanako and Dojima are the bonus space.

"S... so what?!" Yosuke hunches his shoulders sullenly. "I still caught the damn fish, didn't I?"

"Actually, Kanji-kun caught that fish," Naoto remarks in a matter-of-fact tone. When Yu glances at her from the corner of his eye, he thinks he sees the barest hint of a smile on her lips. "And you."

Suddenly there's a telltale snort; everyone immediately looks at Yukiko. Sure enough, one hand is clasped over her mouth, her shoulders beginning to shake. "P...pff... haha! Yosuke-kun as a _fish_..."

"Oh boy, now you've done it, Naoto-kun," Chie says, rolling her eyes affectionately at Yukiko as everyone else in the room starts to laugh.

"All right, all right, enough gabbing!" Rise claps her hands, once, much the way Kanji had earlier. "The food's gonna get cold! We can't let all of Kanji's hard work go to waste!" She gracefully alights on her cushion and fluffs out her skirt. Then she lifts her chopsticks, raising her eyebrows at everyone else pointedly.

The encouragement is hardly necessary: there's a cheerful round of "Itadakimasu!" from the table as everyone digs in.

Yu, though he lifts his own chopsticks and chimes in, is the last to take a bite. He can't help but take a few moments to watch the others, basking in the happiness of the crowded table. The medley of chewing noises and happy voices is like music to his ears, the clatter of plates and the clink of glasses tapping out the rhythm. _It's good to be home,'_ he thinks.

Then he catches Yosuke watching him closely - Yosuke looks away in embarrasment the moment Yu meets his eyes - and hurries to distract himself, ignoring the heat rising suddenly in his face as he lifts the first piece of lovingly-prepared salmon to his mouth.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my God this is only the first part of the party. There's going to be more. I already know there's going to be so much more. Why did it get this long. _How the hell did I get myself into this_
> 
> Also, I really wish there was just a list of what everyone calls everyone else (Chie calls Yosuke by first name only, Yukiko calls him Yosuke-kun, etc.) instead of having to sift through game transcripts/s.links to reference them. That said, if you notice any inaccuracies in the dialogue I've written concerning this, please let me know and I will fix them!


	5. Deer in Headlights

Yosuke looks like a deer caught in headlights.

Yu looks like he has no idea what to make of it but is, nevertheless, curious.

Naoto and Kanji seemed oddly insistent that Yosuke haul Yu out of the house while dinner cleanup was happening. They _claimed_ that it was to prevent Yu from helping - and to be perfectly fair, keeping Yu from helping is about as easy as herding cats, so removing him from the scene entirely _is_ a pretty reasonable solution.

Yosuke is pretty damn sure he knows what they were _really_ up to, though.

It doesn’t help that Kanji was stammering and red in the face at the time for _apparently no reason at all._

Yosuke lets out a huff, shuffles a bit, shoves his hands in his pockets. “So, uh, I was talking with Kanji and Naoto a bit,” he mumbles. “And I’ve… got something to ‘fess up to.” He sneaks a peek at Yu before hiding his eyes again. “I… I like a guy.”

Yu’s face goes from neutral to blank.

Yosuke knows the difference well by now: one is when Yu’s not feeling anything in particular. The other is when he wants you to think he’s not. It means he’s suddenly become vulnerable and guarded - honestly, the last time he saw it was probably back around when Yu left Inaba to move back home with his parents. Yosuke’s not sure whether he should be anxious or perplexed.

Opting to not dwell on that particular decision, he coughs in the prolonged silence, his eyes roaming nervously.

“Like…?” Yu says finally, and though his voice is as seemingly neutral as his face, it’s also somehow… small. “Like… _like_ like?”

This may be the least eloquent thing Yosuke’s ever heard him say. And while his partner isn’t really the prolonged-and-terribly-verbose-speech type, he usually has a natural way with words.

“Yeah,” is all Yosuke says, his heart thumping in his chest.

“That’s…” Yu begins, then seems to lose his train of thought after only the one word. “...New,” he finishes lamely - as if having sorted through and discarded a multitude of options before finally arriving at this one. He must realize his mask is slipping; he turns away only moments later.

Yosuke is baffled. It doesn’t really seem as though Yu is disgusted - not that Yosuke thought he would be, though that sort of paranoid whispering is always there at the back of his mind. It’s more like Yu is… afraid? Sad? Yosuke isn’t really sure at all, but the lack of repulsion is at least mildly encouraging.

“What, you’re not gonna ask me who it is?” Yosuke tries to keep his voice light, casual.

There’s another awkward pause, followed by a timid, “...Is… is it someone I know…?”

Wait.

Wait wait wait.

_What._

What is that.

Is Yu _worried_ about it being someone he knows? Why? Why is he worried? Does that mean Yu like-likes (ugh, the phrasing is apparently contagious) one of the other guys? Wait, but that would mean Kanji or… no, absolutely not. Yosuke’s not even willing to consider the other option. But if it _is_ Kanji… wait, how does that even work? Yosuke puts his hand to his head, attempting to draw a mental diagram complete with color-coded arrows (and hearts, and question marks). Yosuke, Yu, Kanji, Naoto = ??? But then why would Yu even be worried? That would mean Naoto has been his rival all along and God only knows Yosuke is no competition for… well. Anyone, really.

The question marks floating over Yosuke’s head are practically visible. The mild sense of relief he’d experienced only moments prior has now evaporated, and he’s forced to fumble on ahead blindly into the conversation. “Well, I mean… kinda, yeah.” He watches as Yu’s shoulders hunch faintly, his open hands curling at his sides.

This seems to cue in the longest silence of them all, and by the time Yosuke loses count of how many mute seconds have dragged by in agonizing fashion, he’s bearginning to think he would rather spend a week trapped in a room with only Teddie and his incessant chatter for company than spend another moment like this (and oh God, he’s going to have to punch himself in the face for that bear pun later).

“Agghh, I can’t take it anymore, my brain’s about to melt!” Yosuke cries, throwing his hands up in despair. “It’s you, Partner, okay?! You’re the dude I like!” He drops his forehead into one hand like a deadweight. “Ugh, zero for one on the romance points, Hanamura. No, wait, are you even supposed to romance a dude when you’re both dudes? I barely have any idea how this is supposed to work with girls, let alone guys. I don’t even have _fictional_ reference material for this. I mean, since I avoided that, uh… _genre_ , like the plague…” He’s vaguely aware he’s babbling, and additionally aware that he should really know by now there are no hard and fast ‘rules’ for this sort of thing, but it’s almost like a part of him hopes that if he can bury his confession in the midst of enough other words, it might get lost amongst them.

However, it appears that the opposite has happened - Yu appears to have heard Yosuke’s confession, and nothing else at all. His best friend is now facing him again - finally - with widened eyes and one foot shifted slightly forward, towards Yosuke. And suddenly, Yosuke understands. He understands Yu’s reticence, the guarded lack of expression, the anxious hunch of the shoulders, and the sudden physical angling towards him now.

At least, he hopes to _God_ he understands.

Yosuke takes a step forward, too, and tries for a normal-ish grin. (What _does_ he normally grin like…???) “I can pinch you in the ass if that’ll help prove you’re not dreaming.” He immediately bites his tongue, hard, feeling his cheeks burn. He realizes, abruptly, that some of the jokes you crack to your friend sound a whole lot different when you realize you kind of sort of have a crush on them. And that’s not even including all the past accidental double-entendres Yosuke is already _painfully_ aware of. _‘You look like you’re good with your hands,’_ anyone? That little beaut in particular is going to haunt him for the rest of his life.

Yu makes an odd choking noise. “I… somehow don’t think that would make this, um, _more_ believable,” he manages, his voice dry but unsteady.

Yosuke laughs at this, and is grateful when it comes out completely unforced. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right.” He drags his fingers through the short hairs at the base of his skull, looking sheepish. "So, um... you're... you're not mad, or anything?"

Yu splutters into laughter that's so surprised it's more cough than laugh. "Mad? Good grief, Yosuke, why on earth would I be mad?"

"Like, I mean, if there was one of the others that _you,_ y'know, um, liked... " Yosuke rolls his shoulders inwards on himself, rubbing his sweaty thumb over his just-as-sweaty fingertips, guilt riddling his insides like a thousand small needles. "Or because I've been an asshat about the whole thing since day one." Despite his best efforts, the latter comes out as more of a mumble than anything.

Yu laughs again; the sound is more relieved than amused. Then he lets out a puff of air through his nose as he pinches the bridge of it between his fingers. It appears that Yosuke isn't the only one with something to get off his chest - and it evidently isn't any easier for Yu than it was for Yosuke. This is simultaneously comforting and unsettling. Comforting in its subtle validation of Yu's humanity; unsettling in that Yosuke dreads what Yu might have to say.

"You guys all like to tease me about being perfect, I know," he begins finally, and Yosuke resists the urge to interrupt him with a fervent _‘dude but you_ are.’ "But I'm not. I'm really, really not." His thumb and finger spread out from his nose in opposite directions, dragging along his cheekbones and then slowly down his face to his chin. His hand abandons his face all together for a moment before reappearing at the sideburn on the left side of his face and rubbing tensely through the short, fine hair growing there. He looks at Yosuke, looks away, looks back again. "And I'm not as brave as you all seem to think, either." Yu switches his fidgeting attentions away from his face and down to the top button on his shirt, the button suddenly popping out of its matching hole, only to be reinserted seconds later.

He lets out another long breath. "I don't think 'mad' is really the right word for how I feel about... the way you've always reacted." At this, Yu's eyes drop to the ground.

Yosuke's heart drops to his feet.

"But it did hurt. Even though it was never directed at me, it hurt. A lot." Yu chews his lip, and as the fumbling with his shirt collar intensifies, wrinkles start to appear around the normally ironed-flat edges. "You really are the best friend I've ever had, Yosuke. I'm more relaxed around you than I've ever been around anyone. Even though we're pretty different in some ways, sometimes when we look at each other you just _get it_ , whatever I'm thinking right then. Sometimes it feels like you're watching me as closely as I'm watching you. And back before we'd met Kanji, I thought... well... I thought maybe you felt the same connection I was feeling. I thought maybe we..."

Yu trails off this time.

Shakes his head.

Sighs.

"And then it turned out I'd completely gotten the wrong idea. After that second dungeon, you completely freaked out about anything even remotely related. You were..." he hesitates, his voice straining with reluctance, "...you were awful to Kanji. I should have said something to you, I knew damn well I should have, but..." He shrugs his shoulders helplessly, risking another glance at Yosuke before averting his eyes in shame. "I didn't want you to hate me. I didn't want you to be angry with me for calling you out on it, and I didn't want you to figure anything out about me and get grossed out. Or scared off. I knew it wasn't fair to Kanji, I _knew_ , and I kept my mouth shut anyway." He laughs bitterly this time, the sharp notes of self-loathing cutting through the evening air. "Some leader I am."

Yosuke's having so many conflicting thoughts at once that they're all tripping over each other. He desperately tries to pluck just one thread to follow.

"Wait, so you mean you... all the way back at like... the _beginning..._ ?" and Yu nods and Yosuke curses, his brow sinking, slowly being crushed under multiple layers of guilt. "I'm so dumb," he says, and curses again, and groans. "I mean that doesn't even cover the half of it but oh my God I'm so dumb. I spent the whole year wigging out and being a shitty person and if I'd just been honest for two whole seconds with you guys I could have had all of these conversations _months_ ago, dammit." He drops his head into his hands miserably. "I coulda spent so much less time being an ass and I..." Yosuke licks his lips, still anxious beneath all the guilt, "... I coulda maybe figured this out while you were still here."

There's a long silence as the two of them lock gazes.

"So then, Partner, I... you... are you...?" Yosuke makes an exasperated noise with his lips. "I mean, do you... still...?" He can't help how stupidly hopeful the question comes out, let alone manage to finish it. A few minutes ago he'd thought maybe Yu's body language was enough to think everything might be mutual. Now, however,  there's a very valid concern that he's completely burned that bridge.

Yu snorts. "Yeah, I 'still,' you goon," he says with affection. Then he makes a small, tentative beckoning gesture.

Yosuke thinks briefly of Yukiko and Naoto's combined efforts to paint him as a fish. Considering he feels currently as though he's been hooked in the heart and is now getting reeled in, maybe that isn't so far off the mark, after all. He straightens and shuffles uncertainly over to Yu's side, crouching down beside him, close enough that their elbows brush.

And suddenly, hovering so close like this, feeling the heat off their skin mingle in the air between them, feeling like his heart is about to punch a hole right through his own chest, Yosuke is overcome with the absurd desire to just say it straight out - preferably, multiple times. Perhaps, one time for every precious day he's wasted.

"I like you," he mumbles. He's rewarded with the sight of Yu's ears going red. "I like you a lot," he adds, this time more boldly, and while he's flying high on this wave of impulse he may as well make the best of it, because if he’s gonna jump then he may as well _jump off the whole goddamn cliff_ , so he reaches over and grabs Yu's hand before he can change his mind and chicken out.

Yu proceeds to fizzle into a BSOD for the second time in the last half hour.

"Dude," Yosuke says, and the laugh that escapes him sounds idiotic with giddiness. "You're worse than I am."

Yu hides his face with his free hand, scarlet heat peeking out between his fingers. "Shut up," he mumbles, even as his fingers curl slowly around Yosuke's and he struggles to keep a grin off his face that threatens to be just as idiotic as Yosuke’s laugh.

And it’s that grin - that amazing, wonderful grin that Yu is fighting so hard - that pushes Yosuke into trying one last crazy thing he might well regret sixty seconds from now.

He leans over, pausing just long enough to let his breath graze Yu’s skin, waiting to see if he’ll move away.

Then Yosuke kisses him right on the cheek.

“Wha,” says Yu.

Yosuke pulls back to look at him, starting to laugh all over again when he sees that Yu is so red there may as well be steam coming out of his ears. “Geez, Partner,” Yosuke says between hiccups of laughter, squeezing Yu’s fingers with his own, “I never thought _anyone_ could do such a number on you, let alone me.”

“Um,” says Yu. And squeezes back. And tries, and fails, to say anything else.

Yosuke bumps their shoulders together lightly, still grinning like there’s no tomorrow. “‘s all right,” he says. “I’ll be your translator when we get back to the house. Just don’t blame me if I get it wrong. I still have a long ways to go before I understand all the intricacies of ‘Yuish’.”

Yu gives him a look that is both still embarrassed and patently unamused. “Like hell I’m letting you translate,” he mumbles, covering his face with one hand.

“Well, c’mon, then, Captain Eloquent,” Yosuke says, getting to his feet and pulling Yu with him. “I’m pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to take you on _this_ long of a walk, so we’d better scoot.”

Yu snorts. “I cannot believe that _you_ of all people just called me that, Captain Foot-in-Mouth.”

“Listen, just because I screw up conversations on the regular doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy it when it happens to you,” Yosuke tells him, grinning crookedly.

“Yeah, well. Shut up.”

Yosuke snickers again, tipping his head back to stare at the night sky.

Considering everything he’s made a complete mess of on the way to getting to where they are right in this moment, he reflects, he is a pretty friggin’ lucky dude.

And he doesn’t plan to take that for granted, not for a single second.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ayyyyyy so I basically had most of this written forever ago, but sometimes... sometimes I just need a long time to sit on something before I can figure out if I really actually like it or not, and I don't know why that is, but I sat on it, and went back to it, and liked it, and was able to add on just the few last touches to hook it back in to the story. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy! I did still have one or two other chapters in mind for this fic, but at least even if it goes untouched after this, I tied off the main loose thread that was, y'know, the whole point of writing it in the first place. 
> 
> LOVE YOU GUYS! Come say hi on tumblr anytime, I'm laurelsing-abc! :)


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